The Meet Market

This guy was a SLAM DUNK!!!

2007-08-13T12:24:00.000-06:00

Back in 2000 or there abouts, my roommate met a guy through a work friend and wanted to go out with him, so I was set up with his roommate, we'll call him Paul because I don't remember his name. Well Paul wanted to take us to a hockey game and they showed up at 6, we weren't ready because we thought they said they'd pick us up at 7, but as it turns out the game started at 7. We hurried and got ready and we made it to the game after the 1st period was already over. Paul was upset that we were late and kept muttering things about being late and missing a third of the game. Throughout the rest of the date Paul pretty much gave me the cold shoulder and I later found out that it was because he spent money on me for my ticket but since we were late to the game he pretty much wasted his money. I tried to make conversation during the date, but to no avail. He wouldn't talk to me and I stayed on the date just to be nice to my roommate because she liked Paul's roommate. After dinner, they took us to their apartment and the NBA slam dunk contest was on. Paul was a huge basketball fan and bragged about being a Utah Jazz ball boy for a couple of years. Of course Paul wasn't sitting next to me, I was on the other side of the room. I don't know anything about basketball, but when some guy made a slam dunk, Paul lost all control of his body as if he wasn't aware that there were other people in the room. He flopped onto the floor, started screaming, kicking, rolling around, almost as if he was having a seizure. He got up, wiped his eyes and in a hysterical laugh was able to barely communicate that that slam dunk was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen in his life. It was all I could do to keep from laughing. Apparently everyone was shocked by this display of emotion and felt the same way as I did. Then the same basketball player that made the 1st dunk was up again. Paul repeated his display of unbridled emotion, after the 2nd slam dunk the way he did before. By this time everyone in the room pretty much forgot about the slam dunk contest and were enjoying Paul's display. After he gained control again, his roommate stood up and said it was time to take the us home. Paul said have fun, I ain't going! I was glad to get out of Paul's presence and glad that he didn't want to take me home! I've never been so anxious for a date to end as I was for that, but to watch a grown man lose control of himself over a slam dunk was actually worth it! That by far was the strangest date I've been on!

--Jen

PURPLE

2007-08-10T09:39:00.000-06:00

It was senior prom time and neither my friend or I had a date and we had decided that we were not going.
Neither one of us particularly liked to dance and frankly the whole prom thing was a bit overrated in my
opinion. Then this guy asks my friend to go the prom and she says YES! Why she said yes I will never know,
but none the less she agreed to go and then insisted that I go too! Ok, that was NOT happening! It would
have been bad enough to show up at my own senior prom without a date but there was no way in heck that I was
going to go and sit with her and her date. That would have been really awkward. Well, she decides that she
is going to find me a date for the prom. She convinces me to agree that I will go if she finds me a date and
much to my dismay, she actually did find someone and me, being the nice person that I am, followed through
and said that I would go. At this point, prom is practically upon us and we don't have dresses or
anything we need. I found a purple sequined dress with white sleeves and a ruffle and decide to buy it (don't
laugh, in 1993 those were in style!). The day of prom comes and I get all ready and am waiting for my friend
and our dates to arrive. It is june in Kentucky and the weather is hot and humid. Now, you might be
feeling really sorry for me at this point of the story, but just wait til you hear the rest! What
happened in the next few hours turned out to be a story that I will never ever forget. My friend, her
date, and my date arrive at my house and they are driving my friends car that had NO AIR CONDITIONING!!
I think it was a ford tempo or something like it. It was about 90 degrees outside and craming two girls in
dresses and two guys in tuxes (one of which was also wearing a huge cowboy hat)in a small car was not a
pretty sight! But we didn't complain, we just headed off to dinner. Now you might think that we would go
to a nice restaurant on prom night, but our dates took us to the GOLDEN CORRAL! That's right, we were eating
at a buffet with a bunch of 70 year olds, in our freaking PROM dresses! I was already tired and hot and
we had only been gone for an hour. Before we left the restaurant, my friend and I excused ourselves to the
ladies room to freshen up a bit before we headed to the prom. We walked into the ladies room and I
noticed that one side of my white purse had a purple tint to it. I had it laying in my lap in the car and
at dinner, and my dress had faded on it. I was upset, but not as upset as I was going to be momentarily. I
put aside the purse, thinking I just needed to forget it and just have a fun time. Well, I noticed that my
hair was starting to look a little sad because of the heat, and I reached up to fix the curls and when I
did, my friend and I at the same time noticed that the underneath of both of my arms WAS PURPLE!!!!! That's
right, not only did the purple sequined dress fade on my purse, it also faded on my arms because it got so
freakin hot!!!! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. My friend and I spent the next 10 minutes in the
ladies room at the GOLDEN CORRAL scrubbing down my arms with paper towels and soap! We did eventually
make it to the prom and my date saw someone that he knew and spent the rest of the night dancing and
talking to her. As luck would have it, my friend and I remained friends after the prom and are still the best
of friends to this day, however as for our dates, lets just say that once was enough for a lifetime!

Please don't fall out of my Jeep again...

2007-08-09T13:28:00.001-06:00

I had a nice jeep, lifted 6 inches with 35 inch tires and I would get a lot of nice comments all the time while driving the jeep. One such comment came from a beautiful tall blond girl and she asked me for a ride. I didn't have time as I was on my way to work, but I got her number and she agreed to go out later that night for a date. I picked her up and we went to a local restaurant for dinner. My jeep at the time had the hard top removed and no doors on it. We parked the car and we got out of the jeep, but she didn't just get out, she fell out! I helped her up and she said "sorry, I'm a bit clumsy". I didn't think much of it, so we went to dinner and got done, got back in the Jeep and went for a ride. We decided to stop at the gas station for a beverage, and when I turned the car off we got out and she fell out again! I thought she was joking, but she had a nice scraped knee after this one. She apologized again for falling out of the Jeep. We went in and cleaned her wound up a bit in the bathroom, got our beverages and left again to do some minor off roading. Everything went fine, she was a fun girl to be with. We stopped at a popular valley overlook, got out again and yes, she fell out for the 3rd time! This time she got a nice bruise on her other knee. I figured she'd taken enough of a beating so I suggested we go home. She agreed and I helped her back in the Jeep. We got to her house and before she could get out I made her wait and helped her out this time. I wasn't going to put up with a 4th falling accident. She thanked me and went inside. We didn't go out again.
--Jake

Make sure your date is of legal age before you wreck your truck.

2007-08-07T11:44:00.000-06:00

My friend set me up on a blind date. He promised me that she was good looking, so I accepted. He told me she was young, but assured me that she was 18. I was 23 at the time, so I figured 5 years older wasn't bad. I picked her up from her house and we went for a drive up the canyon. She was a hottie and so I asked her how old she was, and she said 18. We were talking about fun dates we had been on, and she said that the funnest date she'd been on was a trip to 7-11 for hot dogs, pop corn and a fountain drink. Shortly after that, a car came flying around a turn way to fast and hit us, sending us skidding off of the road. We were ok and a passerby drove down the canyon to get cell phone reception to call the police and tow truck. The highway patrol man arrived and we filled out the reports. After all was said and done, the cop came up to me and asked if we were on a date. I said yes, and he told me that I better re-think that. He handed me her report, where under the age she wrote that she was 16. I told the cop it was a blind date and that I was told she was 18. He said I needed to take her home. I didn't say anything to her about it. The tow truck driver took us back to town, where my friends dropped of my other car and we continued the date. She said she was hungry, so I drove to the nearest 7-11 and stopped. She asked "What are we doing?" I said we're going on a "fun" date, so get your hot dog, popcorn and a drink and then I'm taking you home. She didn't think that was very funny and refused to go in. I told her what the cop told me and took her home. Moral of the story: Make sure your date is legal age before you wreck your truck.

White Knuckle Date

2007-08-06T10:02:00.000-06:00

A few years ago my girlfriend and I decided to go on a double date with my girlfriend's best friend Michelle and her blind date. I was told that I would be picked up by my Michelle and so I wouldn't have to drive. When they got there and we headed out for the date, Michelle was excited, and I asked what was up. She told me this was her first day driving, that she just got her driver's license. I was sort of shocked, since she was 23 at the time, but I didn't give it any more thought. We drove to a close restaurant without incident and had a nice dinner. After the dinner, we decided to go bowling at a bowling alley across town. It was now dark outside and we headed out. On our way, Michelle was driving of course, and she freaked out because a Police Officer was on the side of the road. She slowed down to more than 20 under the speed limit and was saying "I don't want a ticket, I don't want a ticket..." I told her that she'd get one if she was going too slow, so she sped up, but I noticed she was shaking a bit. We continued on our way, she seemingly had gotten over the Cop incident, we were approaching a large, busy intersection. The light was red and we were the first car to the intersection. Michelle did not stop at the intersection, she kept her foot on the gas, held on to the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip and screamed, which made the rest of us scream, and we almost T-boned a ford explorer, but by some miracle we made it through the intersection. We made her pull over, and I climbed into the driver's seat. Michelle was crying and said that she didn't know if she had to stop or not, she had never taken any form of driver's education, she just passed the driver's test because it was an open book test and she was able to find all of the answers. Besides a little practice earlier that day, that was her first time behind the wheel. I took everyone home and Michelle's poor blind date looked glad that it was over. I would like to hear his take on that nights events, but we never heard from him again!

Knowing you're on a date is key to a good date

2007-08-02T09:58:00.000-06:00

I had this friend, her name is Marrie (short for Margaret). She was one of my friends ex-girlfriends. She was always trying to set me up with different girls. So one day she said that she had a girl to set me up with. I said I'd have to meet her first before I would take her out, since I hate blind dates, so she agreed and set up a night for us to meet. The following Saturday night, the 3 of us decided to go out to dinner. We went to Denny's and then ended up driving around for a while. It was just like 3 friends hanging out, nothing formal. Marrie ended up sitting in the front seat of my '69 Bronco. We had an alright time and we dropped the other girl off at her house. When she went inside, Marrie turned to me and asked, "so, how did you like your date?" I was shocked, because at that moment I knew that the other girl was under the impression that we were on a date. I felt horrible because I didn't really pay that much attention to her, didn't pay for her dinner, she didn't even sit in the front seat! I told Marrie that it wasn't a date, but Marrie said that she told her friend that it was a date, and Marrie thought that it went great. I said that i didn't know what kind of dates Marrie was used to, but that was probably the worst date that girl had ever been on. I was right, the next day Marrie called me and said that her friend didn't like me and didn't want to go out with me again. I asked why and Marrie said that it was because I didn't even act like it was a date and paid more attention to Marrie than her. I said that was funny, since it wasn't even a date, that I was aware of. What kind of a date is it where the 3rd wheel rides in the front seat, plus I didn't even know it was a date??? Knowing you're on a date is information that you need to know before the date starts!

Fishing on the 1st date

2007-08-01T17:12:00.001-06:00

I met a girl online. She was my type, thin, blonde hair, green eyes. I was excited when she wanted to go out with me and one of my favorite things to do is fishing, she suggested that we go. So I was excited to go fishing, with a hot chick for the first date. Things went well, she was a photographer and took some pictures of me fishing, but refused to take pictures of the fish I caught. The date ended well, nothing romantic and we decided to meet again for another date. On the 2nd date, I was confronted by her about fishing, how it was evil and wrong to put the fish through so much pain and suffering etc.... I was very surprised since it was her idea to go fishing on the first date. I don't know if she thought that she could stop me from fishing??? Needless to say, an argument ensued about fishing, hunting, cutting down trees, and who was right. I told her that I respected her feelings on the subject but I believe differently than her and there was going to be no convincing me otherwise. That is when she got mad and told me to rott in hell with all the other NRA Ted Nugent hunting psychos that are out there. I laughed all the way back to my car and couldn't drive till I gained control of myself. From the window it probably looked like I was crying...well I was, from laughter. The lesson that I learned is that no woman is beautiful enough to keep me from fishing!

3 Dozen Roses

2007-07-31T14:28:00.000-06:00

I was in the military and I met this gal online and she said she would go out with me. I was stationed on a base way out in no where land and I decided to spend the money and rent a car to take her out and went and bought a $50.00 bouquet of roses. Well I got to her barracks and go to her room and her roommate says she told her to tell me she changed her mind and had another date. Well I was bummed to say the least and I went to the local watering hole and sat drinking my suds all sullen and another military gal comes over to me and asks what the problem was. I told her and she said she would go out with me tommorow night and I went out to the car and gave her the dozen roses I had bought for the first date. I was all happy now and went home awaiting my date saturday night now instead of friday. Well came saturday night and I decided to buy her a dozen roses too different color and went to pick her up at her barracks and her roomate said she was told to tell me that my date went out with someone else. AWE!! I was shattered now being stood up twice and out two dozen roses. Well I went back to the watering hole and felt sorry for myself drinking my suds and another woman came up to me even more beautiful then the other two and I told her what had happened. She said she would go out with me tommorrow night and I went to my car and got the roses and gave them to her. Now all excited that this was going to finally work out and anxiously awaited my date now on Sunday night. Well you quessed it. I bought another dozen roses different color and went to find she was not in either. I had to return the rental car on monday and I ended up spending over $500.oo on the car and roses and never did get a date. This is a true story and I am now a rich monk in a monestary.

A person can respond to suffering like an egg, or like a potato. A potato goes into the boiling water hard, but comes out pliable. An egg goes into the boiling water soft and comes out hard.
------ Are you an egg or a potato?

I always ended up injured

2007-07-31T14:02:00.000-06:00

I went on this date with this guy Jerry who is the exuberant type. We were with a bunch of couples playing some game around Christmas. So, he drew this card that said he could either dance with his date or sing a Christmas Carol. He yanked me off the couch to dance without warning. My ribs hurt for two weeks. But the first time I ever went somewhere with him, it was shortly after my knee surgery. We went miniature golfing and won against the other couple. He was so excited, he picked me up and dropped me. The shock wave went right up my leg and my knee swelled up like a balloon. We went out to dinner and I had to ice it while it was propped up on a chair. I ended up telling Jerry that I couldn't go anywhere with him anymore because I always ended up injured.

Heidi

Yeah, you might have mentioned that BEFORE I agreed to go out with you!!!

2007-07-30T09:13:00.002-06:00

Okay, so I was talking to this guy on the internet for about a month. He was very intelligent, and from what I could see in the pictures was pretty good looking with a great sense of style. We decided to meet at a local coffee shop, where he was to be sitting at one of the outside tables. I got there, he was already seated and I joined him. He wasn't as cute as his pictures, but still not hideous. He started talking about himself instantly, and never stopped. After about an hour of listening to this, I excused myself and went in for a refill. So I'm standing there doctoring up my coffee and I see this guy come hobbling up, I mean he was obviously handicapped, and the closer he got, I realized it was my date!! Now I have nothing against handicapped people, but it should be my decision to make whether or not I want to date one!! I was really annoyed that he had failed to mention this in all the emails we had exchanged. So we sat down and he immediately starts talking about himself again, and tells me that he is not really looking for a relationship (again, something that might have been nice of him to mention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Then his phone rings and it is a friend of his, a girl, and he invites her to come down and have coffee. He doesn't mention me at all. While we are waiting for her to arrive, he tells me that she has this crush on him. So she shows up a few minutes later, and she is obviously STUNNED to see him sitting there with a woman. It was really awkward. So she stays for about 15 minutes and then she leaves. Then somehow our conversation takes a scary turn and he tells me that he has herpes!!! I couldn't believe this guy! I mean, internet dating could totally work in his favor, what better a place to get things out up front like "I am crippled" or "I have herpes" and then weed out the ones who are still interested in dating you despite these things. I felt like I was totally deceived. WORST DATE EVER!!!

(I would like to remain anonymous, thanks.)

Rubber Roach

2007-07-30T09:13:00.001-06:00

As an English teacher in Houston, I didn't have the opportunity to meet many eligible guys. Most coaches and all students did not qualify. So, when my good friend recommended that I go out with a former college buddy of her husband, I agreed.

Chris was a computer hardware engineer. He was reasonably attractive, articulate, and available. What more could I ask? We had only dated about a month when Valentine's Day arrived. Chris showed up with roses and chocolate, which I appreciated. Too bad that wasn't the end of the gifts.

For dinner, we went to my favorite upscale Chinese restaurant. When assorted appetizers arrived, we dug in. We talked about work and books. All was lovely. As I reached for another piece of spring roll, however, Chris whacked my right hand with his chopsticks. "What was that for?" I asked incredulously.

"You already had your share of the spring rolls," Chris admonished.

Okaaaayyyy. Well, I thought, he's probably right. I didn't mean to take his appetizer. Still, I had never been swatted with a chopstick before, and this was Valentine's Day.

I smiled and cautiously ate the rest of dinner. No more swats.

Over coffee, Chris grinned as he slid a small, rectangular gift-wrapped pink box over to me. Ooh, I hope it's earrings, I thought. Nothing too fancy, I hoped, since we haven't known each other long, but jewelry is always nice. With a box that size, what else could it be?

My heart was thudding. Slowly, I unwrapped the pretty paisley wrapping paper and opened the box. I removed the tissue and gazed down at what was clearly not jewelry. What in the world was it? It was brown and rubbery. Chris began laughing as I pulled the gift from its box.

"A rubber roach? You got me a rubber roach? What's the meaning of this, Chris?"

"When I was in college and ran out of money towards the end of the month, I'd collect dead bugs and place them on my plate at the end of the meal so I wouldn't have to pay for dinner."

I took a deep breath and said between gritted teeth, "Chris, I like this restaurant. I want to be able to come back. Surely you're not suggesting that I put the roach on one of our plates?"

"Oh, come on. Don't you have a sense of humor?" Chris asked.

"That's not funny."

"Well, will you at least let me throw it on the table behind us so we can see their reaction?' Chris asked. I scooped up the roach just as Chris lunged for it.

"Chris, I'd like to home now. Please ask for the check."

---Leslie

Button

2007-07-24T09:24:00.000-06:00

I met a guy at the bookstore that I worked at and we decided to meet for dinner. We went to dinner and everything went fine so we made plans to go out on another date. On our next date we went to a movie and since the parking lot was crowded we had been forced to park in the parking structure. Once we got back to the car he started kissing me and I kissed him back. Suddenly he bent down and bit, yes bit, a button on my shirt. He torn it off my shirt with his teeth and then smiled as he chewed it up into tiny pieces and swallowed it. It was the grossest, most disgusting thing ever. The date was so over. I went straight home. CREEPY!!!

Jen Morrison

Tasty Earwax!

2007-07-24T09:12:00.001-06:00

I was in university in oklahoma and there were not a lot of guys to date within my faith. the closest large city was dallas tx, about three and a half hours away. So in order to meet people from down there we would occassionaly go to church activities over a weekend but also resort to the internet. Sometimes the internet worked, others it didnt. This is a story of just how badly it does not work sometimes.
So I had met this guy online- lets call him fred. Fred had just moved to TX from Ut and was havng problems meeting decent girls down there. We forged our friendship on the fact that we both could find no decent partner to date. Well, we talked for about a month or so and he kept insisting we meet. I was a poor college girl living by myself in a tiny 500 sq. ft apartment with a bike and feet as my only mode of transportation. After about a month and a half Fred decided that he would make the trip up. I was excited at the prospect of meeting some one normal and waited all day- called him a couple times and then got worried that maybe something was wrong. Finally that night he called and said he wasnt going to make it. After that I backed off a bit because it was odd to me it would take him till 9:30 at night to call me and tell me he was not coming. A couple days went by without talking and all the sudden he calls while I am at work. I answer and he says, "Hey doll, I'm here and I'm lost so where do you live again?"
Wait, Wait, Wait, WHAT? I have class this afternoon, I am at work currently; I was not expecting you to show up now, I thought to myself. So being stupid, I told my boss I was taking the rest of the day off and I ditched class. So, not really knowing what was going on I invited him into my house and we had some casual conversation- I was a little stunned because he was about 80 pounds heavier then the picture he sent me and had really bad acne. He wasnt fat or anything, just NOT the size I expected and not the clear face shown in the picture. So, we talked for a while and he asked to see my apartment- all 500 sq. ft of it. I showed him around and we ended up sitting on my bed. All the sudden he pulls me back into him and starts kissing me- AAAAWWWKWARD!!!!!!! So I kinda just sit there trying to think how to be nice and how to explain to him this is not what I imagined our first meeting to be like. I pull away and he pulls me back, licking my ear till its practically DRIPPING and breathing so hard into it I was ready to throw up from the mixture of moist breath and wet saliva, coating my eardrum. Once again, I pull away and try to talk to the boy. Maybe he's just horny- maybe he hasnt had any in a long time, well, scratch that- EVER. So I pull away AGAIN. This time he gets offended and says something like, "I'm trying to get you in the mood" At this point I'm thinking WTF buddy- you show up here unannounced after I'd already waited for you and in a sense been stood up earlier this week by you, I am still nice enough to let you in and meet me and then you suck the wax out of my ear and want to get me in the mood? whoa whoa whoa.... you are a lunatic, if there was ever a way to get a girl in the mood- THAT is not the way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So- after his "get you in the mood" comment, I explained I had other obligations to attend to and it was time for him to leave. I spoke to him once after that and he was confused as to why our first meeting and my first impression of him was so bad. Enough said ya IDIOT!

There you go!
Sarah

Are you good at math?

2007-07-13T10:57:00.001-06:00

I belonged to an online dating service. I do not recall which one it was, but I met a girl online, she sent me her picture, she was cute, and our online conversations were good. We decided to meet, so we talked on the phone for a good hour or so. It was decided that I would go to her house and she would prepare a light dinner so we could relax and get to know each other a little better. It sounded good to me, so off I went to her house. When I got there, she was waiting on the front porch, with her mom. It was her mother's house that she lived at, something she didn't mention. She told me that she failed to make dinner, because while she was talking to me on the phone, she was in the bathtub, and she couldn't talk and wash at the same time, so the 25 minutes it took me to get to her house, she finished her bath. She told me that she would take me to a close mexican style restaurant that was a new attraction in town. The entrance to the restaurant is much like the entrance to the Indiana Jones ride at Disney Land. The restaurant was very popular at the time, so a good line wound around the outside of the building. We got in line, the wait was about an hour. From the moment I got to her house, she hadn't stopped talking. It was nonstop chattering about anything and everything. The conversation took a turn for the worse, she made me listen to her talk about her cousin who was in prison, and how he was mad at her for who knows what. She had the group of people around us intently listening to her, even though she didn't realize it. I was getting looks from a group of guys of a similar age to mine and I knew that they felt pain. I just smiled and nodded and they smiled back. So on with her one-sided conversation, and then suddenly, she stopped, turned to me and asked me: "Are you good at math?" I said, "uh...kind of, why." She then pulled something out of her purse and said that she needed to balance her checkbook. I was a bit taken back and said okay, whatever. She then shut right up, didn't make a sound for 15 minutes strait. The guys around me were holding back laughs or laughing silently into their hands. One guy silently mouthed the words "Blind Date?" and I just nodded yes and fought hard to hold back the laughter. When the 15 minutes of check book balancing was up, she picked up her story about the cousin in prison as if she didn't miss a beat. After 10 more minutes, we were finally seated. The incessant chatter lasted through the rest of dinner and all the way back to her house. She made me walk her to the front door, where I hastily said thanks for dinner and turned to leave. She then told me to call her when I get home because she was worried for my safety. I just rolled my eyes and left. She shouted as I was leaving that the next dinner was my responsibility. That was the end of that. That is when the tactic of dropping off the face of the earth is a good strategy to employ. I never saw her again.

--Bryon